Over the last few days, I've come to realise that I get in to a lot of disagreements with people. Mostly at work. They're nice disagreements though. Brett and Anj yesterday told me that I disagree with everybody all the time, which I don't (haha), but I do a lot of the time. And you know what, that's ok. I like to think that maybe I can teach people a few things from time to time. These arguments are never really heated.
Things like getting up Brett when he says something that could be taken as homophobic. A lot of the time it's me explaining how something could be offensive. And arguing trying to get people to be more open minded and accepting. It's mostly just me trying to explain things. Because I know in the context of work and the department and this small town, I'm quite an unusual person, with unusual ideals and very, very open minded attitudes. And I believe that everybody should think that way, because there are so many things that people say here without even realising it's offensive. There are a lot of attitudes that I like to challenge. Like sticking up for one of the guys when he goes on a little split with his wife because he was having an affair, but they have an arrangement, so they all think she can't do that, and so I have to explain that even in open relationships, cheating is still a thing. And that yes, that comment you made was offensive, and you could word it better without being a douche bag. And me defending my right to fuck David and not have him think that there's anything to it. Yes, women can have casual sex too, and there's nothing wrong with it.
And things like people's attitudes towards me when they find out I've had threesomes. Today Anjina goes "normal people don't do that, that's weird, real people don't do that." And so I challenge her. What's wrong with it? I know people who do it. There's nothing wrong with it. Just because she wouldn't, because she's from a different generation, with completely different ideals, who would never think about doing something like that. That's ok, but there's no need to tell me that I'm abnormal for doing something that you wouldn't do, that many other people do and see nothing wrong with. And things like challenging sexuality and erasure. I mentioned yesterday about the girl that Carly wanted to set me up now, and how she started seeing somebody else, a boy. And Anjina goes "but I didn't think she was like that", as if you can't be bisexual or pansexual if you date someone of a different gender. My sexuality isn't erased when I enter in to a relationship. I still love girls if I'm dating a boy. My sexuality doesn't change. And people can go from being more interested in girls to more interested in boys and back. Bisexuals get a lot of this, because when we enter in to a relationship, we're automatically assumed to be gay or straight, depending on the partner. Biphobia is not cool, and it's very real, and very hurtful. And erasure is not cool also.
I think I launch in to one of these rants at least once a day. I just did one on the uni discussion boards, which I don't normally use unless it's a burning question for assignments. Someone asked how abnormal is abnormal, given the unit is called abnormal psychology and not psychopathology. And so somebody mentioned measuring abnormality with things people can or can't do. But that's not it, that's not the whole story. Some people are very good at fronting, like I used to be (which I don't think I am so good at now when I'm down). Some people can be very mentally ill and still function. I've been suicidal and completely lost the will to live, and I still went to work and studied (and did well) and although I wasn't up there with eating and exercise and personal hygiene, if you were just observing me randomly, I probably wouldn't seem sick. Some people are good at being functional while being really ill, others aren't. A measure of functionality isn't really an accurate measure of illness.
Anyway. I do hope that I can manage to educate at least a few people. And I think that I do, sometimes. Brett's better with his comments. I try to explain things to Anjina but I know she doesn't really understand. That person on youtube last week said I helped them. I think I manage it. And hey, if I have educated at least one person and made one person more aware of how they think and that sometimes their attitudes are wrong, than I am happy with that. And of course, I know that I am far from perfect. And I do hope that if I ever offend somebody, that someone can be patient with me and explain it to me until I see where I've gone wrong.
Things like getting up Brett when he says something that could be taken as homophobic. A lot of the time it's me explaining how something could be offensive. And arguing trying to get people to be more open minded and accepting. It's mostly just me trying to explain things. Because I know in the context of work and the department and this small town, I'm quite an unusual person, with unusual ideals and very, very open minded attitudes. And I believe that everybody should think that way, because there are so many things that people say here without even realising it's offensive. There are a lot of attitudes that I like to challenge. Like sticking up for one of the guys when he goes on a little split with his wife because he was having an affair, but they have an arrangement, so they all think she can't do that, and so I have to explain that even in open relationships, cheating is still a thing. And that yes, that comment you made was offensive, and you could word it better without being a douche bag. And me defending my right to fuck David and not have him think that there's anything to it. Yes, women can have casual sex too, and there's nothing wrong with it.
And things like people's attitudes towards me when they find out I've had threesomes. Today Anjina goes "normal people don't do that, that's weird, real people don't do that." And so I challenge her. What's wrong with it? I know people who do it. There's nothing wrong with it. Just because she wouldn't, because she's from a different generation, with completely different ideals, who would never think about doing something like that. That's ok, but there's no need to tell me that I'm abnormal for doing something that you wouldn't do, that many other people do and see nothing wrong with. And things like challenging sexuality and erasure. I mentioned yesterday about the girl that Carly wanted to set me up now, and how she started seeing somebody else, a boy. And Anjina goes "but I didn't think she was like that", as if you can't be bisexual or pansexual if you date someone of a different gender. My sexuality isn't erased when I enter in to a relationship. I still love girls if I'm dating a boy. My sexuality doesn't change. And people can go from being more interested in girls to more interested in boys and back. Bisexuals get a lot of this, because when we enter in to a relationship, we're automatically assumed to be gay or straight, depending on the partner. Biphobia is not cool, and it's very real, and very hurtful. And erasure is not cool also.
I think I launch in to one of these rants at least once a day. I just did one on the uni discussion boards, which I don't normally use unless it's a burning question for assignments. Someone asked how abnormal is abnormal, given the unit is called abnormal psychology and not psychopathology. And so somebody mentioned measuring abnormality with things people can or can't do. But that's not it, that's not the whole story. Some people are very good at fronting, like I used to be (which I don't think I am so good at now when I'm down). Some people can be very mentally ill and still function. I've been suicidal and completely lost the will to live, and I still went to work and studied (and did well) and although I wasn't up there with eating and exercise and personal hygiene, if you were just observing me randomly, I probably wouldn't seem sick. Some people are good at being functional while being really ill, others aren't. A measure of functionality isn't really an accurate measure of illness.
Anyway. I do hope that I can manage to educate at least a few people. And I think that I do, sometimes. Brett's better with his comments. I try to explain things to Anjina but I know she doesn't really understand. That person on youtube last week said I helped them. I think I manage it. And hey, if I have educated at least one person and made one person more aware of how they think and that sometimes their attitudes are wrong, than I am happy with that. And of course, I know that I am far from perfect. And I do hope that if I ever offend somebody, that someone can be patient with me and explain it to me until I see where I've gone wrong.
15:26
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